replying message to snow .
i'm not asking u to get out of my life .
i just don noe what to say . cause i disappoint u too much .
i cant tell u because the problem i am having concerns u and i dunno how to say .
yes i noe i am pure lazy .
i am already trying .
cause i noe , i don wanna disappoint u further .
you noe on jamming that day , i don even noe wad my father told u all .
i wasnt allowed to be out . so i was online . when i see u online , i rmb abt not answering ur calls , was afraid that you scold . tat was wad happened . i even posted in our band blog u noe .
you said the same thing happened , i told pohlin .. no matter how much i explain sometimes u all wont believe me , till i had enough of explaining ..
but today , it's just tat i had to say it out .
my blog to me , i don noe how many ppl is reading . it has always been a place for me to rant etc .
so i'm sry . tears are just flowing non stop . now agn . sighs .
i noe u will see my blog , tat whys , sometimes , i just write it out . i dunno wad ppl think of me when they see my blog or wad shit . it's my own blog ma . i am free to write wadever i want ?
to people : they don like don see lo . simple wad .
but thanks for the reminder anyways .
i trust u much more compared to windy . but there are different things which i can say .
not all i could say not as much as wad i tell u .
the talk when we were out at yoshinoya , when in the cab , so many things i still rmb .
i'm just waiting for a day when we are free agn ... last time we everytime go out etc . meet up . but i noe tat u are busy i cant blame u while i am the oh so free one . sighs .
i wanted to tell u directly but i was afraid i have no choice but to tell u indirectly .
i'm just scared to do so much . like i told u and ppl . i got alot don dare . so ya . the onli thing i can say is i am sorry .
okays , "
You skipped lessons just to avoid me.
You are like telling everyone who's reading your blog that,
how much you wished I wasn't there.
So that you won't be emo again.
If you really felt this way,
(and would make you feel better)
it can be this way."
quoted by u . u don understand what i mean ok . if u really disappear i think i will more emo can . it's just tat now , i dunno how or wad to say when i see u . i miss you i miss the times but i guess just saying wont do .
i don wanna go . it's ok don nid to pass me the ticket . even if i go , i wont be happy so for wad that i go . cause u said u haven get the ticket so i tot i got someone which i can go get tgt . end up . it's okay .
u think leaving me , i will be more happy ma ? sighs , u really misunderstand my words .
i place u the same as joanna and katherine and pp . so if u were out . i will feel even more miserable . i will like completely be not me anymore .
sighs . i wish for this to end . but i dunno how . i dunno wad to do . all i can say is sorry . although i noe saying sorry cant change much . but realy , i dont wish for u to go . . .
9/10/2009 02:45:00 PM my heartful song Y
