♪ My HEARTFUL Song ♫

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

YOHOO MINNA .

okayys . spamming pictures of myself agn . ugly and act cute me . LOL .
oh wells ! i rmb lo . min qi say i look like some china person T_T! omgggggg ... noooooooooo .
ppl say i look like jap i happy sias .. although i will always reply no la where got i local de LOL .
do i really look so not local T_T!

anyways , went to work as usual today . but was damnnnnnnn tired laaaaa . den err open shop etc .. went to haru visit ika and chat awhile xD meow . den the hairstylist from the opposite shop very nice xD he help me cut fringe FOC xD haha . den he say if wan colour hair charge me 70 nias . yay !

i noe ppl will ask me go my god sis there is free , why i don wan .. paiseh leis . i mean everytime go there .. foc foc . like very zzz de so yaaaa .

today ordered food from nana thai ~ meow .
my voice . i hopes it comes back soon T_T . meow . sobs .

and er . ard 7+ sora came to find me .. den brought him up to buy ramen . den tabao to my shop to eat watched fann's wedding on tv .. today no sales sias T_T! oh wells jia you ! . den errr .
waited for min qi to end work .. and tian tian .. den sora helped all of us with the closing of stalls lols ! thanks man !

den took 518 with min qi and sora .. den end up the bus nv stop at bedok but bedok res T_T .
must walk home .. was ard 10-15min .. and thanks sora for sending me home xD u reached home so late . i feel so bad T_T ... meow . i shall treat u to a meal ya ! XD

i nid to call to change my appointment date T_T shit man . my anna sui ~~ i don wanna miss it !
lols . and tmr going to send windy off either tmr or thursday ..

and marleen jie coming back xD yay ! my maid . i shall leave the hse to her le . onegaishimasu ! xD hehe yay ! okays . erms . ya .. haha ! ehh .. meow . =.= ... so tmr i nid to collect my black sesame moon cake ~ xD yea . don think i will have the time oh wells .. nvm i am sooooo tired !!! XDDDD . meowwwwww . errrr . dunno wad to type le T_T and i feel like bringing aiko out T_T how how how T_T!! to accompany me at work . cause ren and rei too big . or shld i wait for their new clothes to arrive ?

okays laaaa . i go off le . oyasumi minna~

icy going in camp le ....
meow....
1 more day and it's 3months ! XDD whees .

9/30/2009 12:09:00 AM my heartful song Y

Monday, September 28, 2009

YOHOO .

i are back .
lols . meow . okayys . errr . work was ok . my voice is man LOL . saw kelly and the rest agn while buying stuffs xD . whees . den err yea .. new frens , min qi and tiantian .. lol the 2 other shops de employee their interesting , made my day at work a better day , as well as the hair salon ppl xD dey pop by to talk etc . but onli from mon-fri den can .. sat and sun wont have fun cause boss is there T_T .

oh wells ~ guitar lesson was fun .. wanna practise well xDD song is i wanna hold ur hand~~~
den aft lesson walk ard nth much .. meow ..

sighs while waiting for cab home , thought of alot ... -goes to other blog to rant-

kaes laaaa . byebye ppl ! oyasuminasai !

9/28/2009 11:17:00 PM my heartful song Y

Saturday, September 26, 2009

今晩はみんなさん～！！
仕事は本当に疲れたです！
助けてお願いします
死にです～

WORK IS TIRING . even though it was boring and slack . tiring cause too bored . sighs . stressful okays . i'm too tired to list things in details T_T . -cries-

I'M SICK . i got sore throat sighs . affected my mood badly . i feel so sick now . still thinking wanna go work not . but more like i have to ?! sighs cause too last min T_T . fish man .

and i suppose to work part time . end up leis ?! i everyday work leis . i think i will die . serious .

my schedule ( including sch , etc etc )
monday - sch 930-1230 work 1-7 guitar 8-9
tuesday - sch 930-1230 work 1-830
wednesday - sch 930-1230 work 1-830
thursday - sch 930-1230 work 1-7 jap lesson 730-930
friday - sch 930-1230 work 1-830
sat and sunday - work 12-930

i will die T_T . sighs . i wanna cry already i cant imagine how stressed i am . i chose the wrong shop T_T sighs . i tot far east more relax . but wad he expects is high end type and wah i will die . even my club 21 i work not so stress okays . sighs .. T_T . dunno wad to do .... T_T!!
sick also don dare ask for mc T_T . sighs . i wan arbish myself le . . -cries-

thanks ven for coming visit me with them~

stupid boss . fire the full timer . den left me this 1 part timer to do everything sighs ... must push sales , so much more okays . i can die really T_T ~ faints ! super spoil my mood . i cant believe such a small thing of whether to go or not , can stress me and make me feels so !$@#@$#@#$@!$@#%^##$#! wan cry le . sighsss ..

jia you ba .. T_T ... sigh ... prepare for my funeral T_T . jaaa mata ne ...

oyasumi minna ...

and one thing in advance .

WINDY さん，お誕生日おめでとうございます。
YEA , HOPE U ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY YA =D.

back to emo world T_T

9/26/2009 10:58:00 PM my heartful song Y

Thursday, September 24, 2009

あのね。。

ときに私が今まで本当の幸せな一日になる?
私はあなたがそんなにミス.
つまらないな人生を私は何をして.
私はそれはもう問題ではない推測.
でも,大丈夫ですね.
のみをあなたが大好きです.
私の恋人。

愛，
愛華

9/24/2009 11:04:00 PM my heartful song Y

今晩はみんなさん～

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1196921129469 - very sweet
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=50666972814 - very funny
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1048562233321 - M18
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=139138786542 - l4d fans
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=125801653575 - mac

some funny vids to share ~
anyways , i am feeling damn shag . damn tired . don ask why . anytime i can ko but i don wan nias .. so headache le. T_T . meow . okays . darling left ard 3+ den i nua agn... in front of comp . played pokemon etc so yupps . sian ... kaes laaa . maybe meeting yuting tmr morning XDD

i go off le . just a short post =D

jaaaaa mata ne ~

9/24/2009 03:34:00 PM my heartful song Y

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

今晩はみんな～～ｘD
お元気ですか？

i woke up late today ! spoilt mood to go jubeat T_T . meow . shall change target . maybe friday xD den night time got yoshi bbq XD haha . meow . cedric would be there i heard as well as nardo LOL . meow . the two beans =X

haha . den went to meet aiiki .. den deposit money .. den yea .. went to buy measuring tape . took bus to her hse . den measure for her . less den 10 min i left her hse le . or ard 10 min lols ! alvin was downstairs my hse . faints . so fast . den went up .. play com abit .

i love my mama . she transferred 900 bucks for me . i cleared my debts . left with 91 bucks =X lols . omg laaa . 900 bucks i can buy my doll i can buy my another jap phone . honestly i have no interest in spore phone le =X . lols . i wan jap phone moreeeee .

i ordered pizza for dinner ! alvin tan slept ever since from 5+ till now =.= pig . sia laaaa . meow . wonder wad time will he wake up . he using my bed T_T wait i no place slp sobs T_T . my bed is full of toys ! hehe xD whees . esp alot kuromi ok ! haha wonderland~~ xD

okays ! my plan for thurs = nth T_T . meow . not planning to go jap class cause no point . i rather go for make up lessons allllllll finish le den continue if not i so lost LOL . hmms . ordered all my stuffs am happy . ren rei aiko will have new stuffs for them =D . my costume gonna come ~ happy ! xD hahaha now i cant wait for AFA .

meow ... xD anyways , put up my lolis for sale le . i put 60 bucks for everything mama aiiki all say so cheap =x so i increase ... xD

kaes laaaaa . i go sing my song le XD
お休みなさいみんな～

9/23/2009 10:58:00 PM my heartful song Y

YO MINNA ,

okay i stayed home and use the com for the whole day . den was packing my closet . gonna sell away some of my lolitas . just realised i got ard 27 worth of 1 pieces . den blouse and skirts have count . plus coats . faints . so many LOL . meow . but next year will be my cosplay costume stacking up lerhhs .

anyways , these few days not much appetite to eat . haha . and yea . menses agn ! fish =.= blood blood blood =.= hate it man . anyways , i ordered stuffs for my 3 kids =D . it cost my 132 dollars omg ... den my imitation black costume plus wig cost 105++ den wah lau i realise my zatsune cost 205 ?! omg . that one i oct den order . since pat there takes 1 week to make so shld be fast can rush for AFA xD wheees . yea .. den slowly work and save . guess this mth and next mth will spend 1k lerhhs . talk abt saving =.= -arbish myself-

anyways , i wan more outing ! hehe . before i go work T_T omg . i dunno . i feel so nervous . not like i never worked before =.=

oh wells , kat's chalet is on the 7th ~ i'll go ~ xD hahaha wheees . but i will feel weird . cause i dunno de ppl there T_T . omg . nvm the most i will go chiong jubeat desu~ hahahahahahaaa arcade love okays =x . meow . okays . wad i want to say ah . ohs later .

will be going to jubeat .. den to aiiki hse help her tale measurements . den nid to ask mama for $$ den transfer to ppl . sigh .. oh wells ~ meow . i are very bored this few nights ~ talk to me if possible kaes ... call me sms me msn me wad ever ...

jaaaaaaa ! oyasumi ..

9/23/2009 12:51:00 AM my heartful song Y

Monday, September 21, 2009

YOHOO MINNA ...

haha . okayys . hmmms . monday !
i stayed home the whole day nuaing ard , stoning in front of the comp , playing pokemon on ds ~~ den cleared thought blog links of ppl which cant be used etc le and updated on more things ..and and i've ordered my imitation black costume le ! thanks ahhpat xD wheees . den she say maybe afa cos with me shugo chara . she do sky jack i do my utau chara trans ver xD wheees . hohoho . and shiro says wanna do another version of vocaloid xD sand play is it ? haha . the shoot for imitation black is on the 17th of oct if i am right . haha . so yupps . my zatsune miku and utau must order soon le . i nid $$ .. and shiro tempt me into buying another dollfie T_T . i am finding clothes for my aiko ren rei T_T . i wanna change clothes everything for them ... give them lots of love . haha !

next event will be AFA , so i guess wont be spending much $$ and can save ya =DD
i shall go isetan supermarket agn to shop for food stocks etc . since i no feel to shop for clothes xD my m)phosis T_T i miss it . roars ! nvm ... my 60 bucks voucher XDD ohhh and my anna sui make over =.= expiring at the end of this mth . serious lo . i got no events or wad nid to have a make over LOL . in make up laaaa . lols ..

oh wells , i'm starting work already . sat sun mon tue .... at far east =D wan visit me , come on mon and tue =x cause sat sun got ppl there with me .. the staff ma . yea .. weird huh . tat i din ask how much is the pay .. wad are the working hours etc =.= -arbish- myself . and i have to miss guitar agn T_T sighs .. and i no mood go for my jap lesson not no mood la . no feel is the right thing ? hmmms . dunno shld i stop and self learn . wah i nid lots of motivation sias .

anyways . this week is the week which i am free ... to do wadever i want to before i start work...
so i wanna go play jubeat ! hahaha but but who is free T_T in the morningsssss T_T sobs ~

anyways , was thinking .. i so long nv touch lolita le .. maybe ... one day .. i shall wear it ! hahaha~ whys not ~ lols ! meow... maybe a skirt and blouse will do .. with normal heels not MJ i will die walking in that lols ! meow . ahhh i am bored sia . who wan to call me out ?! who who who and hurry ya ! =DD i wanna go watch movie !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T_T call me out ma . i so friendly haha ! xD . meow .

kaes laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa . i go rot le . oyasumi minna !

OHOHOH AND . 誕生日おめでとございます to negi ! XD =D . one year older le .. =DD don so emo etc . cheer up kaes !

9/21/2009 11:56:00 PM my heartful song Y

Sunday, September 20, 2009

TWO MORE AWESOME PHOTOS FROM ZEE ~

THANKS XD

9/20/2009 02:29:00 AM my heartful song Y

YOHOO MINNA .

oh gosh i am so so so tired .

okays i shall continue on from where i left out desu .

tuesday sept 15
had stayed home i guess cant rmb . had another 7th mth dinner XDD

wednesday sept 16
i went back to isetan scotts . yoshi said wanted to celebrate his bdae end up he last min cancel .. den me and pohlin went to buy dango ~ den walked to far east . etc etc . den she came my hse collect wig and done .

thursday sept 17
suppose to work . but damn infection . i had stayed up the whole freaking night cant slp le . den i went ehub .. den ard 3+4+ den meet junhui at his hse there den go with him to bugis . chey . yuan lai he is work at the breeko cafe i tot wad sias ... den aft that went to find my mama . den went home le .

friday sept 18
went to bugis to do manicure xD wheees . new colour . den went to far east fill up my application form den i went to haru bought some stuffs xD . den went home le xD haha . den aft tat changed went to 85 meet windy and pohlin . my mood was like ?!?!?!?! i ki siao sighs . don say le . and yea . been feeling so tired nowadays . den darling came over xDD -loves-
dunno how long nv see him le . miss him so much eh . den he teach me how to play dota . and i love queen of pain kaes LOL . the first char that i used =D whees . den yea xD love darling so much =D .

saturday sept 19
GCA wahahaha . went to find aiiki to get my shoe , den sent darling home . =D . den went to suntec . asked jayem to fetch me from taxi stand . den went to find ppl le XD wheeeeees saw so many ppl ! took lots of photos . am happy desu !!

but ahh the photos T_T my damn fringe spoils everything T_T sobs sobs . nvm later round 2 XD

den aft GCA , went to arcade , i play the catch catch machine , i caught 7 stitches ! yay ! cute cute de XD whees . den yeaaa . wahahaha . den aft tat walked to peni plaza den parent come pick me up go to my cousin's wedding le .
okay la . not really my cousin .. my cousin's son . =D wheees .
den dinner until ard errrr 11 den reach home sias . omg laaaaaaa . which is like i so tired and my damn contacts are hurting T_T . sobs .

anyways , kuro said the photoshoot will be on the 17th oct .. so i must ask shiro to help me faster order le XD .. imitation black is loved wahahahaha . meow . okays xD

okayys . tmr tmr tmr ... i shall slp soon to prepare for tmr le ! charging hp for photo spamming ! dunno wad to wear shall see how xDD

i wan outing ! i demand outing ! lols .
i wanna see darling agn . T_T miss him le LOL . so fast huhs ?!
疲れた！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！助けてお願いします！meow .
kaes la . jaaaaaaaaaaaa ! mata ne =D .

PHOTOS SPAMMING TIME . SRY FOR MY UGLY FACE XD

9/20/2009 12:16:00 AM my heartful song Y

Saturday, September 19, 2009

MEOW .

ehh . this is a short post . aft i come back home tonight den i continue to update bout the past few days ya ! =DD

anyways ! GCA is today! yays~ can meet them agn ~~ whees .
but ya . sad i not going seiransai . i said i not going means not going ma so ya ......................................

sighs . anyways , i planned not to go guitar and jap lessons lerhhs . for my jlpt 4 i shall study at home ... or ask ppl xD i still got my sister ma .. den for guitar can learn online etc . anyways , it is for my hobby i don really aim for the cert or etc . maybe when i really feel like it i can go find romi agn ya ?

but i noe i'll miss everyone .. yea . esp making fun of wilson .. bongbong .. the yamaha ppl ~ ahhh . wadever la . don wan say so much now . =.=. ..

jaaaaaaaaaaaaa~

mata ne minna~~ XD

9/19/2009 01:56:00 AM my heartful song Y

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

KONNICHIWA MINNA ,

from today onwards , all my rantings will not be in this blog .
any complains etc . will not be on this blog . so you will only see happy stuffs here i guess =DD
if i ever had smth to rant , i will state that i ranted =DDD whees .

WHICH I JUST DID =D I RANTED . lols .

oh wells , sighs . i gotta go le . jaa

9/15/2009 05:09:00 PM my heartful song Y

YOHOO MINNA .

i has new photo but haven upload so bear with the old photo ya xD
okok . hmms . let's see .. okok . the 7th mth dinner .
got me kat ahyi alvin junhui darius and one more cant rmb but kat call him la jiao . so yupps .
den they all drink caslberg sia . i drink 7up =x . i don dare drink in front of my mama =x . lols . but end up i also got drink =.= martell somemore . faints . den later abit porn star joined =D . so long nv see him le . den ahh . when they going that time junhui ask me drink down 1 cup with him . omg i hate beer the gas T_T and the beer bellies omg !!! XD den porn star and ahyi came over to stay over . den ard 3+4+ den slp . omg tired !!!! den they ard at night the next day which is sunday 7+8+ den leave xD . hahaha . been playing TD sias =.= kinda bored with it le . xD .
den today played with ven alot games . thanks for teaching ! still waiting to learn dota . and my l4d sot sot T_T!!!! . den today , went for the interview at isetan cause i missed the interview that day .. was posted to men's section T_T aiyo i wan my ladies ~ hahaha .. yea .. but i'll be same as benj ! yay !! XD . den aft interview , went to chat with masita and i forgot her name omg . the cashier ppl la . lols . den aft awhile go supermarket buy things le den go talk talk chat with nur they all at marc jacobs xD miss them sias . den went to chat awhile more with the cashiers before leaving isetan . i wan go m)phosis reserve things le laaaaa !! XDDD cheapppp xD hehehe =x maybe on the 16th i go xDDD cause got the jap food fair xD got DANGOOOOO~~ lols xD whees .

den just now , i smsed a person abt a job vacancy at far east . den the person was like u sat come and fill in form and start work . den i say i this weekend cant . fri den i go there fill form . den say ok . den say you must prove to me that you are worth hiring . omg . stressed ! i shall jia you !! XDD when confirm le den i tell you all where okays ! it's also at the third level ! dunno near haru not LOL . meowmeow . xD

tmr got another 7th mth dinner ...siannnn ... fei si le laaa ! must jian fei T_T!! must must must ! =D ganbatte ne ! yosh ! den wednesday leis .. i don think i have anything ba o.o OHOH . go isetan scotts xD den thursday work ! and thursday is yoshi birthday ! xD lols .

anyways , was on the way to and back from home to isetan i thought abt snow . wonder how is she now , is she much better ? i miss her .. i wanted to go lesson today . but , she said she don wanna contact me for the time being and don think she would wan to see me too . so ya . i dunno wad to do . sigh~ anyways , hope she is better already . wanna invite her over the christmas buffet as well =)) i asked pohlin yoshi da ge da jie left gwen and snow =)) meowmeow .

and darlingsssssss , if i confirm the job at far east do come visit me ya ! =DDD wheees XD
i wan jubeat !! abit more grade up le T_T~!
okayys la . jaaaaa !

9/15/2009 12:30:00 AM my heartful song Y

Saturday, September 12, 2009

KONNICHIWA MINNA SAN ,

hmmms . am digging out old pictures xD . anyways , i miss my black bow tie T_T .
guess i'm be going GCA in seifuku , cause aft that got dinner . siannnn .

kaes , abt ytd , went jubeat with jayem , nicholas and aiiki . den we saw spy99 . nic's fren ma . he damn pro xD he very funny also . he was the one which i gave sweets too on cosfest with another big guy which i saw later in the evening .

den went to play jubeat .. den went to aiiki hse play dynasty warriors with elbioni . xD den aft tat went to dte play jubeat agn . den i topping up card i saw someone ..jovi .my cousin LOL . din noe he working there =.= din noe he shorter den me . at first i cant rmb who is he sias . den slowly slowly den i rmb lols ! so qiao see him there . den play awhile le den go simei ... den aft tat went to blk 511 bedok there eat . saw charmaine siew . den eat finish go home le . ytd i slept early sias ..

first time omg =.= 12.30++ am . xDDD jia you bahhs ..
i nid to go sch more more more . sch's closing and i nid to jia you ! exam come i gg sias .

ohhh sry fonfon aka ven tat i din go meet you all today for our CSR team meeting xD
meow .

okays .
me wishes for 07-ghost outing once more .
me wishes for 1.5k gas blasting club outing one more ( i noe it sounds weird lols )
me wishes for another CSR outing xD

GCA , vocaloid team got outing .. dunno wad join them not . for lunch ... nvm .. shall ask pp if she meeting anyone if not can meet her =)) if she meeting someone else den nvm ba . shall see how.
oh wells . i nid to save $$ and stop spending $$ . if not i cant get enough $$ for my costumes faints .

oh wells , gotta pm harenai for the ordering of wigs .. for my gakupo dunno wan wait for shiro they all first not . ahh i think wait la . den i just order for my afa de den . meow .. AFA .. jia you !
i day 2 got plan .. day 1 leis . and sry shiro .. last min out . gomenasai .

later meeting ahyi , kat , pornstar at tamp . den go down the 7th mth dinner . meeting alvin and his 2 frens there . meow . is bored . oh wells . see ya at night agn . =D jaaaa neeeeeeeeeeeeee

9/12/2009 04:19:00 PM my heartful song Y

Thursday, September 10, 2009

replying message to snow .

i'm not asking u to get out of my life .
i just don noe what to say . cause i disappoint u too much .
i cant tell u because the problem i am having concerns u and i dunno how to say .

yes i noe i am pure lazy .
i am already trying .
cause i noe , i don wanna disappoint u further .

you noe on jamming that day , i don even noe wad my father told u all .
i wasnt allowed to be out . so i was online . when i see u online , i rmb abt not answering ur calls , was afraid that you scold . tat was wad happened . i even posted in our band blog u noe .
you said the same thing happened , i told pohlin .. no matter how much i explain sometimes u all wont believe me , till i had enough of explaining ..

but today , it's just tat i had to say it out .
my blog to me , i don noe how many ppl is reading . it has always been a place for me to rant etc .
so i'm sry . tears are just flowing non stop . now agn . sighs .

i noe u will see my blog , tat whys , sometimes , i just write it out . i dunno wad ppl think of me when they see my blog or wad shit . it's my own blog ma . i am free to write wadever i want ?
to people : they don like don see lo . simple wad .
but thanks for the reminder anyways .

i trust u much more compared to windy . but there are different things which i can say .
not all i could say not as much as wad i tell u .
the talk when we were out at yoshinoya , when in the cab , so many things i still rmb .
i'm just waiting for a day when we are free agn ... last time we everytime go out etc . meet up . but i noe tat u are busy i cant blame u while i am the oh so free one . sighs .

i wanted to tell u directly but i was afraid i have no choice but to tell u indirectly .
i'm just scared to do so much . like i told u and ppl . i got alot don dare . so ya . the onli thing i can say is i am sorry .

okays , "You skipped lessons just to avoid me.
You are like telling everyone who's reading your blog that,
how much you wished I wasn't there.
So that you won't be emo again.
If you really felt this way,
(and would make you feel better)
it can be this way."

quoted by u . u don understand what i mean ok . if u really disappear i think i will more emo can . it's just tat now , i dunno how or wad to say when i see u . i miss you i miss the times but i guess just saying wont do .

i don wanna go . it's ok don nid to pass me the ticket . even if i go , i wont be happy so for wad that i go . cause u said u haven get the ticket so i tot i got someone which i can go get tgt . end up . it's okay .

u think leaving me , i will be more happy ma ? sighs , u really misunderstand my words .
i place u the same as joanna and katherine and pp . so if u were out . i will feel even more miserable . i will like completely be not me anymore .

sighs . i wish for this to end . but i dunno how . i dunno wad to do . all i can say is sorry . although i noe saying sorry cant change much . but realy , i dont wish for u to go . . .

9/10/2009 02:45:00 PM my heartful song Y

yo .

okayys . GOMENASAI FOR THE MULTIPLE POSTS =D .

i'm feeling so much better now . for the talk with windy and pohlin . thanks so much .
but i guess i wont be going anywhere except staying home .
tired mentally and physically lols ..

so yea . gonna go off le . jaa nee ..

dunno wad plans i have on friday sighs . i wanna go out .

9/10/2009 04:30:00 AM my heartful song Y

i'm feeling so moodless .
i dunno wad to do .
i feel so lost already .
my thinking plus others thinking all mixed up .
tell me wad to do .
i'm already trying my best . to me , i noe .
wad more do you all want from me ?
u wanna see me change , at least give me time .
a person changes can be seen as time passes .
don expect it to be so sudden ok or maybe in dunno how many mths times etc .
eh it's hard ok .
u every try ma ?
i have made so much changes in the past .
sacrifices i have made , i gave up my happiness in life just for the changes .
i tot as times pass , my life will be better , i was happy already .
it has been so long since i've cried like this .
it's been an hour , and still counting on .
if the past me , now i would be drinking till i am drunk .
but i am not . sighs .
u were frens who suppose to bring joy to my life extract the sadness which filled inside me .
u did it already . please do not let it come back alright ?
i dunno why am i saying so much .
i noe there is so much more i wanna say my feelings etc . just tat i dunno how to say it . i just need a break a guess .

i'll go to sch tmr but not jap class i guess . i cant handle it . i'm sry .

9/10/2009 03:11:00 AM my heartful song Y

FUCK LA OK .

i noe i very lan . i noe i mei you jiu le .

i should not have thought that you understood me . ok . i shld not have expect so much from you .
honestly you noe i am afraid of you ?! i'm afraid of your scoldings . fuck la ok . it's like just because i don wanna explain la .

so , i say i sick , do u really wan me end up in hospital tat type den u will believe ?
wadever i do got reason ok . i tot you would be a little more like joanna . u can noe wad i am thinking sometimes so i don realli nid to say . i expect more from you den pohlin .
u do noe how i think sometimes but i guess u dont .

hey . not onli you are the one who miss the times okays . i also okays . like joanna case . i so long . fucking long never see her etc . i still miss her i still think of her . don ASSUME CAN . i super don like ppl to asume cause they don understand me okays .

i dunno how u all will think of me and my reasons that is why i nv dared to tell u all the truth . compared to telling to someone like windy . wadever i do i have my reason okays .
like why will i block u . FINE . I TELL U . i dunno how to face u ok . i noe u super disappointed . but i don say . i'm a person who don really care abt impression left on ppl . but ... i tot u will noe .

sighs . looks like ... i really expect too much from a wrong person yea ? sighs . you all wanted me to change . and i did . and now it's like saying i changed den everything became bad . den wad u all wan me to do . i really really dunno . everytime seeing wad u all post .. i like macham no reaction . cause i don say . just tat .

today . i just have to say smth out okays . i'm a pure loner . okays . i hate it . i super hate it . if i don noe u all i dunno i will become wad . i am grateful ok . U ALL ASSUME agn . tat u all are forgotten . BUT I DONT OKAYS . have u all asked me before ? and i tot that u gonna get with me the tea ceromany tickets . den end up u said it was for myself . and i have been thinking shld i go . since onli left me . i wanted to say forget it . i think i really shld .

i wont go for jap class . i wont go for guitar lesson . i noe that if i see u , i'll rmb everything . i don wanna be emo anymore . it's been so long . ahh . i hate myself . i kip avoiding stuffs . i cant face it . i'm scared i'm really too scared . i'm liddat maybe . alot of things i don say wont say . no matter how troubled i am , i kip it to myself .

i shall just say ok .

gwen - she also busy with her stuffs i hardly can see her besides guitar .

pohlin - she too nowadays is busy . i spent almost my everyday with her. i miss her so much . but . i din say . i wanted to go out with her so much . but i noe that will cause her to spend money which she nids to save .

as for you snow- u have work . u're busy on ur own .

it's the exact same thing tat is happening . u all are busy on the days i am free and when i am free u all are busy .

snow , do u noe i intended to make a special bento just for u today when i see u in lesson but . i wont go already . i lost all mood to do it . i'm crying like fuck ok .

i was super enthu in going sch , why why must i go ur blog , why must i see that post . why must i lose all my mood . my motivation to even go sch already . i don wan the past to come back i really dont . ..

i was so enthu into going the tea ceremony with u guys , i was so enthu on going seiransai . i guess ... it wont happen already..

9/10/2009 02:12:00 AM my heartful song Y

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

YOHOO MINNA~~

okayys . so today morning was suppose to meet jayem go dbg play jubeat . end up met up with nicholas first at ehub .. he was with spy99 xD i realise i noe him cause i gave him a dweet during cosfest =.= he pro . lols and yay ! upped 2 grades xDD *points to jubeat section in blog*
den aft playing till12+1+ den aiiki and chiyoko came den we left and head for plaza sing to meet up with the rest xDD ... den we went zone x i saw that k.hao guy agn . the one of the pros lols . den we stone abit . i went to find eve to cut my fringe xD

den aft tat we go eat lunch at long john , den proceed to concorde hotel 1 of the lan shop to play .. time pass so fast and it was 6+ le we played for 5 hrs LOL . den we head back to ps ~ den we went to arcade zone x awhile agn ... den went to eat at just acia xD 15 ppl sias .. ohhh we met ask earlier . aka riyukime XD den he left XD . den we bought cake xD and took lots of photos XD wheees . den went aft dinner we all left le xDD

thanks kamikaze for ur help with the l4d thingy ya !!! XDDD sankyou so much..

ahhh wonder how is darling now .. he say he got competition ... he nv sms me ... think no money ? meow . take cares wors ..
sayounara ~

photos below !! i look so shag T_T too tired plus the damn eyes killing me =.=
group photos !!!