din wanna go
yishun.. to me that place very sensitive
le . hate it . sighs . jo also noe she forced me to go . ii feel so fuck lors.. like betray myself knowing how damn reluctant ii am to go .. noe ii will sad and end up killing myself bud ii still went ii noe sure will have thing happen derhhs sighs . and ii realli realli hate it alot alot . bud still sighs .. ii have to go . quarrelled with my mum caused of that . joanna yong be honoured .. and don trick me in coming yishun . ii will come onli if the time is right ....yes my
frens are there true.. cried already quarrelled already . all the sad and fucked up things sighs . first thing step into
yishun see a ....................
peson liaos . fuck
lors.. spoil my entire mood . at that point of time . ii was like stoned shocked pierced . fuck la . stone see who is that . realise den shocked . den pain shoot in .. so pierced . understand ? sighs .
wadever la . den
johnathan hai mi got cut on my leg T.T today walked and walked and walked
alot xD so cool
hehhs xDD exercised alot xDD hohoho ..happy part . saw her~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HAHAHAHAHA XD and ii get to talk to her
wohoos xDDD and
korkor zai wo on bicycle
soooooooooooooooo fun la
xDDD kor ii wait for
euu ride
agn okayys .
kor den sent me and jo home .. noe jo very very sad . bud no matter how much ii say she also wont listen soooo nvm bahhs ... hmmms...ii noe she love derek alot . noe she wanna be with him alot ... bud ii cant force her to leave yishun ppl cause of me esp derek . derek pull her back .. she comfirm will stay de .. so ii just sacrifice bahhs .. silently agn .. sighs .. shall just pray hard really for the day to come so my suffering will end . i'm DESPERATELY SERIOUS . SIGHS . dunno la . don wanna think . don wanna care too . argh . dunno how to say la ok . sighs . just end it with this stupid fucking yishun thing ~!!!!! tat's all ii can think now. memories yes have bud like ii said i'm putting it all into the past .... so ii cant be bothered anymore ~! understand ?! i'm not running .. i'm trying to "heal" myself ..liddat ii cant even heal myself so why not let me rot and die manx . if this drags on anymore ii prepare myself for death already . i'm serious . sighs .
II AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I KNOW II WAN TO WRITE OUT EVERYTHING I FEEL ETC BUD WHY WHY WHY CANT I OMG . I FEEL LIKE BASHING THE DAMN COMP . I KNOW II WAN TO TYPE II SO WAN TO TELL . I FEEL SO XIN KU BUD IT JUST JUST CANT CANT COME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sighs . maybe it's fate bahhs . sighs ...... dunno la . bout derek foo cause . frens can be .. bud maybe now it's hi bye frens .... I NID TIME MANX . PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE . OMG II THINK BECAUSE OF THIS FEW DAYS AND EVERYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING . I THINK II AM GOING TO CANNOT TAKE IT LE ~!!!!!! ii think this explains my emotions unstableness . ii agree on that cant kip everything le .. just wanna explode .. ii think ii will go mad . and i'm sry for everything . if ii realli do go mad , takkaiirreess my frens =)) live well ... i'm in the process already ii know it myself . sighs.
nowadays . my heart is just full of hatred sadness all the negative stuffs okayys . sighs ...
what i'm feeling is a damn weird mixture of emotions . sighs . NOBODY . will understand ii stress on that . cause ii noe myself ... there are still stuffs which ii keep from jo ii dunno how to say bud somehow sometimes it's inappropriate to say to her . bud besides her no one to tell . so ii guess all kept inside which drives me crazy ... and now ii don even noe how to say it . ONLI CAN SAY FUCKING PAIN UNTIL I WANNA END IT NOW NOW NOW INSTANTLY FUCK . sighs . u noe mahhs . all ii feel is pain pain pain . sorry got no use ... no matter how much it will mean . cause once it's there , it's already there ... KARMA OKAYYS . sighs .
ii hate this yr . half a yr's going to go soon . for the next half can ii start afresh ? ii dunno how to sighs .. u said that u will leave bud ii wan u to be willing not force . ii tot to myself if u don leave nvm ii leave first . i'm serious bud how am ii gonna do tat . ii noe by doing that ii comfirm will drift from u ... sighs . i'm stressed i'm so confused ii realli realli need help . using work to stop myself from thinking...maybe ii should stop the yishuning . don talk abt that onli once in awhile ... bud ii noe .. with jo it'll be hard .. bud ii don wan her to leave me . so ii cant drift im realli very very lost . sighs . how how how ii need a damn solution and now . sighs .
I JUST SO HATE IT . SIGHS . WHO CAN HELP IN SHORTENING MY SUFFERING SIGHS .
to my special someone : dunno how i'm feeling now i'm so confused . wan to love euu bud ii cant . it hurts alot alot . pls take me down to the grave where u are and ii belong . ii wanna be with euu .
6/21/2008 12:40:00 AM my heartful song Y
